About Me

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Makati, Philippines
I am extremely complex. It would take a genius to comprehend such thoughts running in my mind. I am not a psycho though or at least not yet... I have no interest in killing people... I mean not all people, just some. I was not even once considered as simple. I may be an angel or a devil, both characters are residing deep within me. It only depends to the person I am with to bring which character suited to deal with him. I have huge problem in expressing what I really feel specially to those I really care about. I tend to say " you're such a stupid klutz" when I really mean "take Care". I prefer to be cynical when it comes to Love, but I'm a very positive person to almost everything else. I don't hold back negative thoughts, I always say them out loud =) I am constantly trying to change for the better. It is harder than it seems but at least I'm doing something about it

January 12, 2010

"SONIA" by Francisco Icasiano

"Pain I have realized is only beautiful only when one can rise from it's depressing power. I have known people who have become cynical and bitter under the lash of sorrow; and I have known some who never recovered from anguish. My experience is only important only so far as it may help others toward growth; it is worthless to me if it implies vanity."I never realized pain's beauty since I felt it. I was always cynical and bitter through the months but still, I believed that i'll recover. I was optimistic. Believing that one day, everything will fall back into place. I can finally move on and live a peaceful life, but after recieveing the news that he's leaving, I felt my whole world was shattering apart. Now I believe that friendship is like a broken mirror. No matter how hard you try to fix it, you'll just end up getting hurt. I tried it yesterday, and what do I get? My crushed pride,broken heart and swollen eyes. It's really effing hard when the only one who can understand your pain is yourself. When others would just keep their minds shut and believe in what they think is right. I've lost hope now. Even my closest friends said that I should leave things the way they are for I can't do anything about something that is already done. Now, I finally decided to keep it that way. Be contented and make the most out of the remaining days we have. Cherish his presence and our memories. For after 3 weeks, the former will be gone. Forever.I've woken up from a dream. Reality must have bitten me hard this time. Coz during my most depressing and devastating moments, I realized that if I don't stop now, i'll be expecting more painful realizations ahead. I can never be like Mikaela. She got the closure that she wanted and surpassed the pain of unrequited love. Nor Denise who strived hard to be worthy for the guy of her dreams. Now, I must turn myself over my art. My outlet of my failed dreams. My writings."This realization of reality must make a real artist of a man. Broken with pain, the soul dies to be reborn, stringer and more beautiful; enriched and enobled by sorrow, the artist in the man rises above himselfl shorn of all fineries and prettiness-- all nonessential, in a word-- the artist flows naturally toward the infinited whither of all artistic effort must be directed"No grudges,no hard feelings, just...Unbearable pain and sorrow.