I call him “The Man of My Dreams” because the only place I can have him is in my dreams…..
If only I have the power to turn back time and stop it from turning… I will perhaps still be happy by now. All I have are the memories of what used to be. The love of my life is a jerk but damn! I love that jerk sooooo much. I remember trying to move heaven and earth for him to love me. I remember begging and pleading to God to let him be mine. I never wanted anything or anyone so bad that I am willing to trade my soul for his love. I remember being intentionally stupid and insensitive just to keep him at my side. How I wish I could pour down to words how much he means to me… his power over me… how great he is… how much I wanted him to be mine…. I remember crying a river for him and I also remember telling myself to come back and continue fighting for his love.
However, there are so many things that happened. It had been years. Many things have changed mostly about me… I realize that I can’t fight for you anymore… not because I dont want to, God knows that I will not even hesitate to give my life for you. I would do anything to win your love. … I can’t fight for you because there is really no fight even from the beggining. You never loved me. I was never that special to you. My love for you is so strong that even time and success are not able to make it fade. My heart is screaming of too much love for you… that is why I decided not to come back, you are the only person that I can never ever hurt kahit gaano pa kasakit ang gawin mo sa akin… I know you so well, I know your flaws pero tangina!!!! Mahal talaga kita. I can’t take the risk of entering your life and perhaps out desperateness to win your heart, I might do some things that would unintentionally hurt you. No! I can’t do that… The devil that I am is of no power when it comes to you.Actually, Kung ano man ang sakit na nararamdaman mo ngayon kung posible lang na hilingin sa Diyos to allow me to carry your burden so I would see that smile in your face. I would not hesitate to do so. I am stupid and out of control when it comes to you… Therefore unlike others who found their true love, I can’t promise to fight for you, I can’t promise to be by your side always… there is nothing that I could except for loving you until I draw my very last breath. I promise that I will ALWAYS love you, no matter what….
Why do I love someone whose love was never mine?
Why is that there is “you” and “me” but never an “us”?
About Me
- *Gladys*
- Makati, Philippines
- I am extremely complex. It would take a genius to comprehend such thoughts running in my mind. I am not a psycho though or at least not yet... I have no interest in killing people... I mean not all people, just some. I was not even once considered as simple. I may be an angel or a devil, both characters are residing deep within me. It only depends to the person I am with to bring which character suited to deal with him. I have huge problem in expressing what I really feel specially to those I really care about. I tend to say " you're such a stupid klutz" when I really mean "take Care". I prefer to be cynical when it comes to Love, but I'm a very positive person to almost everything else. I don't hold back negative thoughts, I always say them out loud =) I am constantly trying to change for the better. It is harder than it seems but at least I'm doing something about it
